It Sounds Like Toys "R" Us Is Already Making A Comeback

WSJ- A group of hedge funds in line to take control of Toys “R” Us—the same group that pulled the plug on the retailer’s reorganization this year—intends to revive the business behind the Toys “R” Us and Babies “R” Us brand names.

The retailer said in court papers filed Monday that while it received qualified bids for assets—which include the brand names of Toys “R” Us, Babies “R” Us, registry lists, website domains, Geoffrey the Giraffe and other assets—it has opted to forgo a much-anticipated bankruptcy auction for its brand name and other intellectual-property assets.

Toys “R” Us’s proposed reorganization plan contemplates “a new, operating Toys ‘R’ Us and Babies ‘R’ Us branding company that maintains existing global license agreements and can invest in and create new, domestic, retail operating businesses” under the brand name, court papers said.

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HE’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

What a turn of events. I had already cried all my tears for Toys “R” Us and Geoffrey The Giraffe. Maybe I would get drunk and listen to some of the old “I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid” commercials while I was blacked out. But other than that, I figured we had seen the last of the greatest toy store ever.

Instead it turns out the people in charge of Toys “R” Us decided to pivot and not say “I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY” from the tallest building in town, ending Geoffrey’s life once and for all.

Now could I get all woke and say how convenient it is that Toys “R” Us got nostalgic idiots like myself into their stores to buy a bunch of shitty merchandise nobody in their right mind would buy in normal circumstances before closing out giant brick and mortar stores during the internet era? Sure. Could I also say that the two most depressing pictures that came out as Geoffrey flat-lined were clearly set up by employees of the company and could have been designed to pull at our heart strings while a comeback plan was hatched?

Of course.

But like all things that the internet brings back from the dead, I am going to enjoy the dopamine that the Member Berries release into my brain as it rises from the ashes. Then I will forget all about the company 24 hours later as it slowly goes out of business again for all the reasons that put it out of business the first time.

But hey, I’m really happy Toys “R” Us is coming back in some form. Lets play the theme song one more time!